i got in a reminiscing mode tonight after my old friend from ny, ivan, IMed me. i haven't talked to that guy in years. so then i started thinking about my days in nyc, and i started looking through old pics on my old blog site. it's just crazy to think about how much has changed over the years. it's been four years since college. people are married with kids. those that were together are no longer. we don't party as much and when we do party, we don't party as hard. we all work 40+ hours a week and have responsibilities like rent, mortgage, bills. right now, me being up past midnight on a weekday is past my bedtime. it's crazy. why did we grow up so fast?

i miss new york and i miss the completely different life i had. not that i want to relive it again, but i look back upon it fondly and wish it hadn't sped by. i miss my friends and i miss the independence of being so far away from the familiar. my friends and i were so close since all we had in the city was each other. then we had our social circle, the ones we would party with. and oh how we partied.

i remember leaving to go out at midnight and coming home when the sun was up. i met my friends at the bar, no worries about rides and driving.

i remember playing in central park after a fresh snowfall and sneaking out at dawn to watch the sun rise over the brooklyn bridge. it was freezing and i was only wearing a hoodie.

i remember clubbing until 4am and sobering up eating peking pork chops in chinatown. everyone and their mom went to chinatown at 4am.

i remember when shots didn't make me want to hurl and when i threw up in a garbage bag in the backseat of my friends car. the next day i had the worst hangover ever.

i remember the mistakes i made and i remember thinking, "f*** it" when i made them. i remember a lot of good times.

everyone's past is their own and its hard to write about it when nobody can really understand what i mean. time really flies. and it makes me sad to think about because there's nothing we can to do rewind it or slow it down.