i keep blogging about work, and i know its getting really old. since i spend most of my time at work, i can't help it. i wish i had more lighthearted, fun things to post on this blog, but i just haven't had too many entertaining, bloggable moments to share. not like rich and jeff and their crazy IM-ing antics. haha. instead, i keep finding myself increasingly perplexed and frustrated by my job and need this venue to vent in hope that i come to some clarity about what i should be doing with myself.

have i mentioned how stupid i feel at work? today i found myself doing some very "admin" level work. i was fine with it since it keeps me from being bored, but then my boss heard what i was asked to do and she feels bad that i'm not using my brain. i thought, "well, i haven't used my brain here in AGES. gosh, i hardly remember when i did."

i remember a time when i thought i was actually pretty intelligent, getting good grades and all. valedictorian? must count for something. then i went to college -- did minimal work, retained no information, and got the grades i wanted. and then now... well, i often question if i have any intelligent cell left in my body anymore. and if i do have these cells, what kind of intelligence are they holding? i know i'm one damn good bargain shopper and have overly-anal organizational skills, but what real marketable brain power do i have? uh, you tell me.

i know i'm being a real pessimist today. just one of those days. i found out on friday that i will be getting the minimum 3.5% raise, despite the good performance and praise i get from everyone. "raises are not a reflection of performance," i was told. my boss also got screwed with the same 3.5%. and she said "i can't pay the bills with what people say about me." (sigh) i don't make the salary i think i should be making right now and i wonder, what can i do to earn more?

change jobs is the first logical answer, but then i'm back where i was on my oct 5 blog -- questioning what career path to go down and what job i want to have next. i'm just running myself in circles.

i hate being an adult. at times, being a student again seems like the easier thing to do.